


Don’t Try and be a Hero Kid. Leave that to the Professionals.

by kunekuneconspiracy



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Violence, feel free to self insert, rapid dick hardening, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunekuneconspiracy/pseuds/kunekuneconspiracy
Summary: write something about the power of anime saving you -sami





	Don’t Try and be a Hero Kid. Leave that to the Professionals.

So I’m walking by a dark alley, and I see a couple white guys beating the fucking shit out of some chick, right? You know me, I gotta fucking swoop the fuck in and defend this girl, cause she’s got titties like the iceberg that busted the Titanic. I’m about to go Monkey D. Luffy on their asses, because I know that by the time I’m done with them, they’re gonna feel like they’ve been roofied (cause some countries pronounce Luffy like Ruffy, get it haaah). So I go in, and throw a punch, hitting one of the guys right in the jaw. Unfortunately for me, I also have a physique like Luffy, so basically I’m a fucking stick, and my muscles when flexed are as soft as rubber. These guys look like Whitebeard in his motherfuckin’ prime, so obviously my punch didn’t do jack shit. My hand is throbbing after punching this guy’s rock hard jaw, and the shadows of the alley look real tempting, but suddenly I block one of their punches with my face. My front teeth at this point are wiggly like when I was six and losing them, and I spit out blood, like an anime badass. I take a punch in the liver, and then the gut, and now I really feel like white knighting was not a good idea. I’m not like that pussy boi Subaru Natsuki, so I can’t respawn after this, but out of the corner of my eye, I see my savior, Sasuke Uchiha, the mightiest anime character of all time, step out of the shadows of the alley. I grin at him, and he looks absolutely disgusted at my physical condition. Now my dick’s getting hard, not in a gay way, but instead just appreciative of Sasuke’s masculine, anime body. The assholes have yet to notice Sasuke behind them, and instead make fun of my rapidly hardening dick(not in a homosexual way). I scream, “We’ll take them together, Sasuke! I have the power of God and anime on my side!”  
He smirks at me, using his ninja subterfuge to remain hidden, and whispers, “Nothing personnel kid,” in the ears of the two white gangbangers. He then completely bisects them, and disappears into the dark, taking the big-breasted girl with him, probably because Sakura is the worst character in all of fiction, along w/ Ron Weasley.


End file.
